Manager of the week: Paul Hollands - Eboue is my God (89 points)

Paul is not rightfully top of the league and reinforcing the worrying trend of Arsenal fans hovering around the top of the table without ultimately winning anything. Paul was actually joint manager of the week last week, but I knew he’d be back.

Although there is one huge blot on Hollands’ copybook in his refusal to answer e-mails about membership of my new Dodgeball team. ‘The Awful Dodgers’. As his profile picture suggests Paul loves dressing up and what with London Dodgeball UK league being all about that sort of thing. We’d think he’d love it, but alas no.

Player of the week: Week 2: Theo Walcott (21 points)

Theo: On his marks to get set and run up a cul-de-sac of full backs.

With a quick fire hat-trick and a boy of-the-match performance against the mighty Blackpool. Fabio Capello is looking sillier that a man has who has taken over the post of a national ambassador for a country he struggle’s to speak the language of.

Does Theo have a football brain? Is there such thing as a football brain?….and if so, here’s a message to my ex-neighbours back in Charles St. South borough (1986-91). I think I kicked it into you rhododendron bush when I was ten, can I have it back? You’ve robbed me of the best 20 years of my career.

But that’s enough about a player who appears to have his hair drawn on in permanent marker by an ex-employee of the Action Man factory. There was another hat-trick from another player who might who might not again reach the public consciousness so immediately. Mr Andy Carroll of Newcastle.

Although Carroll’s surname sounds like a Christmas sing-along Andy is no choirboy. With a couple of arrests for drunk and disorderly behavior, an alleged assault and a pending court case for breaking a team-mates jaw in training, his stay in the PL might not last long.

Or will it. Does anyone else remember a 6”3 striker with a questionable temperament who once wore the black ‘n’ white stripe’s of the ‘Toon’ in-between suspensions and spells at Everton/ prison?

Is Andy Carroll the ‘new’ Duncan Ferguson? I hope so……… and if my any chance David Moyes happens to ever read this blog. SIGN HIM UP NOW!!!!

P.S. If I ever tell you I’m going burgling in Newcastle and, if you have it, please let me know A.C’s address so I can steer clear.

Week 2

“Can you help me, I’m confused. I’ve got one green, one brown and one black waste bin outside my house……..Which one am I supposed to put the cat in?” (Radio 5Live listener, via text, August 2010)

What are we supposed to do with your rubbish these days? In a consumer society there’s ever so much more refuse to discard. A problem Manchester City seems to be confronted with as transfer deadline day looms and the effect of the 25 man squad takes hold.

What to do with the Premier League’s most consistent goalkeeper over the last ten years when England’s latest International bright young thing seems to have appeared by accident from your youth academy? What’s going on if a man who sleeps in a bed with a pink fur covered flatscreen TV built into it accuses the reserves as being overly bling?

 http://www.newsoftheworld.co.uk/showbiz/837739/Oh-No-Man-City-star-Stephen-Ireland-and-his-beautiful-WAG-Jessica-invite-you-into-their-bling-king-home.html

.....and finally,…Craig Bellamy has left the building.

What ever you think of the temperamental, argumentative, obnoxious sniveling Welsh windbag….he’s a bloody good footballer.

To quote, in a rare fit of football wisdom from my Spurs supporting father, when questioned about the prospect of Bellamy joining Tottenham:

“I’d like him for his abilities as a player, but not for his personality.”

Other than that, as a Spurs fan. My dad knows nothing about football.
But is Bellamy the really the knobhead we all make him out to be? This article from the Guardian says otherwise.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/football/blog/2010/aug/19/david-beckham-craig-bellamy

At the same time as robbing the Premier League of one of its most ‘colourful’ characters, Bellamy’s departure has robbed me of many an opportunity to make easy gags. So….for one last time……here goes:

During his time in the Premier League Craig Bellamy chose to involve himself with many clubs during his career. My personal favourite being the five iron he aimed at Bjorn Arne Riise’s head in a hotel room during his time at Liverpoo*.

I Fan Q!

It’s not often that Premier League mega star trades down a division to play for his boyhood club.

Craig Bellamy the A/CSCT salutes you!

Player of the week - Didier Drogba 17 points

Chelsea goal machine....yeah, yeah, yeah.......unplayable at his best.........yeah, yeah yeah......it's just a shame that he's such an insufferable prima dona.

The first week of the A/CSC provided a sharp kick in the balls to any manager like myself who refuses to pick players that that they wouldn't happily save from the Black Hole of Calcutta when Diddums Drogba stole 3 pieces of candy from the backward children of West Bromwich.

With luck, if today's transfer speculation is to be believed, Drogba's over-inflated head will be turned by the attentions of Jose Mourinho at Real Madrid. Fingers crossed for sulk, player strike and eventual transfer away from the Premier League!

We can all dream.

Diddums is incensed by Manager Barrett/Griffiths refusal to pick him.

Manager of the Week - Week 1 Jim Coggles

The Super Guns 66 points:

Teaching those young whippersnappers a thing or two Jim leads the way in the first week of the 2010/11 season. A feat made all the more remarkable by the fact that the Super Guns look the field on the first week with only ten fit players and the squad's most prized piece of heavy artillery, Cesc Fabregas on the bench.

Although it does help if your captain scores a hat-trick on the opening day. Drogba (34 points). Looking at the Super Guns squad  shows that there is a heavy reliance of big name players so will their title push depend on Rooney, Drogba and Fabregas remaining fit throughout the season?  Jim's ability to stay top may heavily depend on his ability to spot a bargain in the lower reaches of the transfer market and in Blackburn's young English centre back, Phil Jones (9 points), Coggles Senior may have already uncovered a fantasy league gem.

Confident Jim already has his Cup Final suit ready

League Table - Week 1

http://fantasy.premierleague.com/M/table.mc?id=10473

Welcome to the Anglo/Celtic Shortbread Conference 2010/11

The World Cup is over. Thank God for that!

England's 'Golden Generation' played like the Golden Girls.
The Dutch provided advanced previews of the new 'Kung Fu Kid' movie.
and finally Vuvuzuela's proved to be a masterstroke by South Africa as they were highly effective in drowning out the booing of disappointed football fans.


Anyway it's time for the newest installment of the A/C SCT


Having suffered severe writers block during the World Cup I was agonising about whether I will be able to start the A/CSCT on time.
Add to this the news that tabloid hack's favourite bad boy Craig Bellamy  has scuttled off to the Championship and that's 60% of my planned material gone.


But, sometimes reality trumps anything any imagination can create in its wildest dreams.


As I write this Spurs are getting thrashed by Young Boys...but that's too easy, no.............


iPhone fans. Check this baby out: Its the 'Phil Neville Football Training app'

http://www.philipneville.com/


Ever wondered what to do when the opposing centre forward is putting you under pressure and there's no obvious pass?
Always puzzled about the best way to deal with an innocuous cross skidding across your six yard box with no opposing forward in sight?
Have you got an annoying older brother?


If so its time to whip out your iPhone and ask yourself? What would Phil Neville do in a a situation like this?


Here at the A/CSCT we are busy behind the scenes negotiation for the serialisation rights for this mighty tome.


In the meantime all of your old favourites will be back:

• Meet the Manager
• Player of the Week
• Bargain Bucket

and plenty of new fun packed features.


Its going to be an exciting season.